communication & personality: being an ENTJ in the workplace
I've always been a bit of a psych nerd, and I love studying personality and psychological attributes as they relate to interaction. So I did a fun thing recently: I re-took the Meyers-Briggs personality profile test.
I took the test once before in high school and was pegged as an INFP, which stands for Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. At the time, the results and all the descriptions felt pretty accurate, so I never thought too much more about it. However, now years later, I began to realize that the INFP type didn't seem to fit anymore. So I retook the test and this time got ENTJ. And let me tell you, reading the descriptions (here's a good one and here's a good one) felt like someone had cracked open my brain and was rummaging around inside my thoughts.
So here's the thing. ENTJs make up one of the smallest percentages of the population, and it is the rarest personality type among women. This validated and clarified SO much about how I interact with and view the world. And SO MUCH about why my personal relationships - especially with guys - tend to be characterized by me intimidating them and often as a result, alienating them. As an example, here are some of the strengths and weaknesses of ENTJs (nicknamed "The Commander"):
Strengths:
Efficient
Energetic
Self-Confident
Strong-Willed
Strategic Thinkers
Charismatic & Inspiring
Weaknesses:
Stubborn & Dominant
Intolerant
Impatient
Arrogant
Poor Handling of Emotions
Cold & Ruthless
You can probably see why this is the least commonly observed personality type among women. And while I enjoy the strengths of my personality and feel empowered to move through the world and make a difference, I am also very aware of and humbled by those glaring weaknesses. I told my sister, who is also an ambitious professional, but a very different personality type, that having my personality feels like being given a pillowcase full of sharp knives to run with and being told not to cut myself or anyone else around me.
ENTJs are natural-born leaders and tend to inspire others to follow them. However, because we don't have much need for emotional validation, we are not naturally very empathetic and we thrive and obsess over efficiency and improvement, always. So obviously, I think ENTJs are often at a loss in the arena of personal relationships; again with the bag of knives.
I think a struggle for ENTJs in communication is how to keep our "bag of knives" personality sharp enough to cut through the noise and nonsense and effect positive change, yet gentle enough not to slice open and alienate those arond us.
As one resource stated,
"Only the most hardened rationalists are able to hold their ground against strongly expressed ENTJ personalities, who neither need emotional support, nor understand others' need for it."
I'm glad I re-took the Meyers-Briggs test, because now I see the way my personality type influences every area of my life, but especially my work/career and communication. And while I don't want to let four letters put limiting parameters around my life and how I relate to the world, I also want to learn as much as I can from the huge body of research in this area, and work to strengthen my weaknesses and play to my strengths.
In just a few short weeks, I've paid attention and discovered that being an ENTJ in the workplace means that:
I am often oblivious to the feelings and emotions of others
I will (for the most part) say anything to anyone
I handle crisis well
I do not handle everyday details or repetitive processes well
I am constantly looking for ways to streamline and improve efficiency
I tend to see the bigger picture (and numbers are not my strength!)
I don't take feedback or negative comments particularly personally
Consequently, I often don't realize that my negative feedback or comments often are taken personally
It's a mixed bag, but now that I'm going through this shift of personality reclassification, I can work hard to learn how to be a better communicator as an ENTJ in the workplace.
(Step one: remember that other people have feelings! :)
- Abbie
